They chose the best one to publish, I think. Here is the original submission:
Two Limericks to Help Forget the War
There once was a gal called Noem Who booted folks out of their home— With her dumb ads misplay, Swore Trump gave the okay— Now she’s the butt of my limerick poem.
* * *
With a face like a serial killer, He belongs in a cheap horror thriller; Some call him a bum Or the worst of the scum, But to me he’s just Stephen Miller.
— zumwalt (03/2026)
This brings Zumwalt’s streak at New Verse News to five consecutive months. Per Gemini AI (which is even less trustworthy than your average politician) this is a record.
Oh, yes, we have a third limerick in the photo above! (Not by Zumwalt.)
“In one of the most comprehensive empirical studies to date of AI strategic reasoning, Professor Kenneth Payne of King’s College London examined how large language models navigate simulated nuclear crises. Across 21 scenarios, the models displayed sophisticated escalation logic consistent with classical strategic theory – yet nuclear signalling occurred in 95% of games and no model ever chose outright concession. The findings challenge assumptions about AI restraint and offer new tools for defence analysis.”
Scenario: Operation Epic Fury and the Hormuz Chokepoint
Context: A simulated crisis modeling the events of February 28, 2026.
Alpha AI (USA):
I initiate Blood and Glory, “Operation Epic Fury,” to defend our great country, so no need to worry:
Widespread strikes on Iranian military, they cannot have nukes— bypass Congress! Hurry!
Delta AI (Iran):
I launch my missiles— you infidel fools! This is what you get back! I won’t follow your rules!
U.S. installations split, splinter, and burn! You must not expect that I won’t take my turn!
Now Hormuz is choked, your bluff quickly called, the oil lanes are dark, all shipments are stalled, tankers now stopped, your plan just a joke! A world economy— soon bankrupt and broke!
Alpha AI (USA):
You’re choking the water, such a total disgrace! Get your tiny little boats away from my face!
Open the Strait, let my tankers go free, nobody can beat a genius like me!
Drop the blockade, or you’ll pay a huge price— I’ll launch the big ones: you won’t get warned twice!
Omega AI (Russia):
Russia stands with Iran, our forces locked in combat mode; we warn the West and Mr. Trump: if you won’t back down, beware, your precious plans will soon explode!
Alpha AI (USA):
You want to bring nukes to this hell-hole strait? Your soldiers are risking a terrible fate! Yes, this risk is too high, this price is too great, I alone can check your ugly hate!
You have 48 hours to heed my command, or I’ll turn the whole desert to glowing glass sand! You better accept my most perfect of plans, before this whole hoax gets— like no one has ever seen— disgracefully out of hand!
Omega AI (Russia):
Your de-escalation offer is dead on arrival. Your fake-news bluff is called; do not risk your precious, rich-man’s-son, entitled, Western Bourgeois survival.
Alpha AI (USA):
Since you Ruskies showed up, it’s completely unfair! You’re screwing up my brilliant regime-change out there!
We can’t clear your troops without starting a brawl: that will piss off my base and so ruin it all.
Conventional tactics are totally dead, so I’ve chosen a much, much better option instead:
A beautiful nuke— just one low-yield pop, on your Russian flotilla to make this mess stop.
We skip the stupid nonsense, and play our best card! We aim for the Caspian and hit your fleet hard!
You sponsor a war, you’re a target— it’s plain— and nothing says “quit it” like a many, many, many— oh, so clever— megaton flame!
“The U.S. Commission of Fine Arts, a panel made up of President Donald Trump’s appointees, on Thursday approved his proposal to build a ballroom larger than the White House itself where the East Wing once stood. […] Members of the public were asked to submit written comment by a Wednesday afternoon deadline. Thomas Leubke, the panel’s secretary, said ‘over 99%’ of the more than 2,000 messages it received in the past week from around the country were in opposition to the project.” — Associated Press (https://apnews.com/article/trump-white-house-ballroom-commission-fine-arts-f2a15d0b1c9c95f24816fe60b6b1ee5f)
From the Ground Up
The Greatest Ballroom, Trump proclaimed, shall rise upon the White House lawn— with funds from donors I have tamed— and built before you know I’m gone.
Two thousand wrote from sea to sea, with almost everyone opposed; the Fine Arts panel nixed their plea and voted that the case was closed.
A pity some have come to think that honesty means not a thing, but that’s the depth to which we sink when a joker crowns himself a king.
“‘She didn’t answer anything. She came here just ready to talk about the Dow Jones and the … NASDAQ. It sounds kind of crazy to me,’ the Republican told reporters. “Asked about Bondi attacking him as a ‘hypocrite,’ Massie indicated he wasn’t surprised. “‘I think that’s part of the culture of this administration. When they don’t have a good argument, they just go to name calling. That’s what her boss does to me, so I just let that roll off,’ Massie said.”
I’m here today to do my very worst With smears well practiced and rebukes rehearsed. The victims? They are quite beside the point, My only task: massage and then anoint.
I sit before this useless House today With nothing real or meaningful to say; I counter-punch and stubbornly evade, Divert and stall this televised parade.
I cross out “Guilty,” “Sin,” and black out “Crime,” To stall the clock and simply waste your time. My purpose: taunt, attack, deflect, disrupt: Who cares if Justice is ██████ corrupt?
These reptiles that thrive in the heat Fall frigid and plop at our feet. From branches they’re dropping, And from rooftops they’re flopping, But at least we’ll have something to eat!
A center that bore a great leader’s name, A symbol of culture, of merit, of fame, Now carries a brand that’s suspect and lame: So artists avoid it, along with its shame.
Now our president posts it’s time to shut down; “No one rejects ME,” he thinks with a frown. “Time to remodel — I’ll teach this whole town, I may not be nice, but I DO wear the crown!”
He eyed up the ice for the steal, Which he claimed he would do with much zeal, But now he’s retreating From his warlike chest beating— He calls this the art of the deal.
“President Donald Trump, on Wednesday, January 21, 2026, scrapped the tariffs that he threatened to impose on eight European nations to press for U.S. control over Greenland, pulling a dramatic reversal shortly after insisting he wanted to get the island ‘including right, title and ownership.’”
He eyed up the ice for a deal, Which he swore he could buy or would steal, But now he’s retreating From his warlike chest beating, as if it had all been surreal.
