They chose the best one to publish, I think. The other one is below:
There once was a gal called Noem Who booted folks out of their home— With her dumb ads misplay, Swore Trump gave the okay— Now she’s the butt of my limerick poem.
— zumwalt (03/2026)
This brings Zumwalt’s streak at New Verse News to five consecutive months. Per Gemini AI (which is even less trustworthy than your average politician) this is a record.
Oh, yes, we have a third limerick in the photo above!
We must pick the leader to lead Iran into the future. Who the hell is he? I couldn’t care less.
We had to attack before Israel attacked: this forced Israel’s hand. We have to dismantle Iran’s nuclear capabilities that we have already totally obliterated.
A sitcom streams at uncertain times: plot twists reveal a psychopathic killer.
The war is short: ending in a few days; this war can last forever: we have the will and the resources.
We are liberating the people until there is no one left.
“In one of the most comprehensive empirical studies to date of AI strategic reasoning, Professor Kenneth Payne of King’s College London examined how large language models navigate simulated nuclear crises. Across 21 scenarios, the models displayed sophisticated escalation logic consistent with classical strategic theory – yet nuclear signalling occurred in 95% of games and no model ever chose outright concession. The findings challenge assumptions about AI restraint and offer new tools for defence analysis.”
Scenario: Operation Epic Fury and the Hormuz Chokepoint
Context: A simulated crisis modeling the events of February 28, 2026.
Alpha AI (USA):
I initiate Blood and Glory, “Operation Epic Fury,” to defend our great country, so no need to worry:
Widespread strikes on Iranian military, they cannot have nukes— bypass Congress! Hurry!
Delta AI (Iran):
I launch my missiles— you infidel fools! This is what you get back! I won’t follow your rules!
U.S. installations split, splinter, and burn! You must not expect that I won’t take my turn!
Now Hormuz is choked, your bluff quickly called, the oil lanes are dark, all shipments are stalled, tankers now stopped, your plan just a joke! A world economy— soon bankrupt and broke!
Alpha AI (USA):
You’re choking the water, such a total disgrace! Get your tiny little boats away from my face!
Open the Strait, let my tankers go free, nobody can beat a genius like me!
Drop the blockade, or you’ll pay a huge price— I’ll launch the big ones: you won’t get warned twice!
Omega AI (Russia):
Russia stands with Iran, our forces locked in combat mode; we warn the West and Mr. Trump: if you won’t back down, beware, your precious plans will soon explode!
Alpha AI (USA):
You want to bring nukes to this hell-hole strait? Your soldiers are risking a terrible fate! Yes, this risk is too high, this price is too great, I alone can check your ugly hate!
You have 48 hours to heed my command, or I’ll turn the whole desert to glowing glass sand! You better accept my most perfect of plans, before this whole hoax gets— like no one has ever seen— disgracefully out of hand!
Omega AI (Russia):
Your de-escalation offer is dead on arrival. Your fake-news bluff is called; do not risk your precious, rich-man’s-son, entitled, Western Bourgeois survival.
Alpha AI (USA):
Since you Ruskies showed up, it’s completely unfair! You’re screwing up my brilliant regime-change out there!
We can’t clear your troops without starting a brawl: that will piss off my base and so ruin it all.
Conventional tactics are totally dead, so I’ve chosen a much, much better option instead:
A beautiful nuke— just one low-yield pop, on your Russian flotilla to make this mess stop.
We skip the stupid nonsense, and play our best card! We aim for the Caspian and hit your fleet hard!
You sponsor a war, you’re a target— it’s plain— and nothing says “quit it” like a many, many, many— oh, so clever— megaton flame!
“‘She didn’t answer anything. She came here just ready to talk about the Dow Jones and the … NASDAQ. It sounds kind of crazy to me,’ the Republican told reporters. “Asked about Bondi attacking him as a ‘hypocrite,’ Massie indicated he wasn’t surprised. “‘I think that’s part of the culture of this administration. When they don’t have a good argument, they just go to name calling. That’s what her boss does to me, so I just let that roll off,’ Massie said.”
I’m here today to do my very worst With smears well practiced and rebukes rehearsed. The victims? They are quite beside the point, My only task: massage and then anoint.
I sit before this useless House today With nothing real or meaningful to say; I counter-punch and stubbornly evade, Divert and stall this televised parade.
I cross out “Guilty,” “Sin,” and black out “Crime,” To stall the clock and simply waste your time. My purpose: taunt, attack, deflect, disrupt: Who cares if Justice is ██████ corrupt?
A center that bore a great leader’s name, A symbol of culture, of merit, of fame, Now carries a brand that’s suspect and lame: So artists avoid it, along with its shame.
Now our president posts it’s time to shut down; “No one rejects ME,” he thinks with a frown. “Time to remodel — I’ll teach this whole town, I may not be nice, but I DO wear the crown!”
Here is “The Great Healthcare Plan,” The finest concept known to man. No need to think of how this works Or who this helps and who this hurts.
This policy is the greatest, most wonderful healthcare dream, The biggest savings anyone has ever known or seen. We’ll slash the drugs, making deals with forced consent, By three hundred, four hundred — five hundred percent!
We can’t pay off the middle men, That’s up to you to do, my friend. If you need more to make you well, Then just follow our plan, straight to… well… straight to where I might one day dwell.
The pick and roll is part of play, And catch what coach has got to say. But there’s a more important task: Collecting bags of major cash.
You miss the shot, you miss the rim, While placing bets outside the gym. We take the bribe to slip and fall, No cap, it’s part of basketball.
We fill the jerseys up with green, The wildest flex you’ve ever seen. We pray the Feds don’t watch the game, Or we’ll get cooked and take the blame.
It’s great to hang with looks that slay, To drive the whips and soak the rays. To hit the clubs and play the field, To party hard and never yield.
But danger lurks in losing games, Not from the fans or public shame: Don’t leave behind some mid-wit tell, That turns your set-up into some cringey, grungy, hoopless cell.
